Okay, okay, I rationalize. But how do I rationalize?

Good question. There are lots of ways to rationalize, but below are the very best: the Top 10 Rationalizations. Read on, and pass it along to a loved one.

Rationalization #1. "I know why I do what I do. After all, I'm the one doing it!"

This mistake is at the heart of most rationalizations. It seems pretty obvious that we should know why we think, want, and do what we do. But psychologists have been showing for a long time that, quite simply, we often get it wrong.

How wrong? And how often? Well, that depends on which psychologist you ask. But most would agree that understanding yourself is in part a matter of inference. And just like we get our inferences about cars, computers, and other people wrong, we sometimes get inferences about ourselves wrong, too. Read on to find out how. [For an introduction, see Wilson's very interesting book Strangers to Ourselves.]

Rationalization #2. "I said it, so I must believe it."

Nope! We all know that sometimes we say things, or do things, that we don't really mean. Sometimes a boss is pressuring us, or sometimes we don't want to hurt our friend's feelings.

But other times, the reason we've said or done something isn't so obvious. Perhaps an attractive model has put on the spot, or perhaps a sly salesman has put us in a pinch. In these cases, people tend to actually believe in what they have been coerced to say or do. In other words, people can get us to actually believe what we have been influenced to say or do! [For a fascinating and entertaining overview, see Cialdini's popular book Influence.]

Rationalization #3. "Culture has nothing to do with it. I tested the hypothesis!"

How does culture change the way we think? Well, there are lots of ways, but two of the most important ways are that culture affects what theories we consider, and what evidence we use. The more culture favors a theory or set of evidence, the more likely we are to consider the theory or use the evidence--even if there are better theories, and better evidence.

As if this weren't enough, we make lots of mistakes when testing theories in everyday life--leading us to irrationally confirm the theories we test. While hopefully working scientists don't make the same mistakes, in everyday life our "tests" deeply favor the theories and evidence culture provides. [For more, see Gilovich's excellent bok How we Know What Isn't So.]

Rationalization #4. "It must be true. Just look at all this evidence for it!"

This is the biggest, baddest, most pervasive rationalization of all. People often believe that their beliefs are justified just because they have some evidence that supports them. But the question is never, never, never whether there is evidence that supports some belief or another. The only relevant question is whether all the evidence or reasons, taken together, supports the belief.

In our complex world, there is always evidence supporting any view, or reasons for any position. The question is: does the evidence, or the reasons, support it on balance? [For more on avoiding "selection bias," once again see Gilovich's How we Know What Isn't So.]

Rationalization #5. "Those tricks don't work on me. (And I'd know it if they did!)"

One reasons that various "tricks" of marketing (or of just getting a date) work is because people think that knowing the trick is enough to defend against it. Even worse, people think that there should be some "feeling" of being tricked.

Nothing could be further from the truth. What we want is influenced by many small, irrational factors, and there's little we can do to defend against them--other than avoiding them altogether (like just turning off the TV). And psychologists have shown there's no reason we need to know we've been influenced for it to work. [For more, once again see Wilson's Strangers to Ourselves.]

Rationalization #6. "Either I believe it, or I don't believe it. I can't do both!"

While logically something can't be both true and false (what would that mean?), it's certainly possible to both believe something and not believe it.

How is this possible? What you believe isn't just what you consciously think or say about something, but how you unconsciously react or behave towards something. For example, we can both consciously have non-sexist beliefs, and have sexist beliefs attitudes that come out unconsciously in our reactions and behavior. [For more, see once again Wilson's outstanding Strangers to Ourselves.]

Rationalization #7. "Anyone else would have done the same in the same situation!"

Not neccessarily. There's a big complication when it comes to situations. How a situation affects us depends on how we look at it. Psychologists call this "construal," and have shown how people's construals can drastically change their behavior in a situation.

For instance, we sometimes enjoy parties, and we sometimes hate them. But which party is which will depend a lot on how we think about it. Is the party a chance to unwind? Or is it a test of social standing? Some psychologists think that a lot of what makes up "personality" is just differences in habitual construals (or perspectives) on situations. [For more, see Ross and Nisbett's excellent The Person and the Situation.]

Rationalization #8. "I'm just that sort of person."

No you're not! Everything we do is in part due to who we are (our personality and so on) and what's going on around us (our friends, our jobs, and so on). But what is due to what?

There's no easy answer, but psychologists have shown that we tend to overestimate the role of "who we are" and underestimate the role of the situation--especially when judging other people. Man in the post office? Woman in the movie? President in the White House? They are all more like you than you think--and you are more like them. [For the best introduction, see Nisbett and Ross's The Person and the Situation.]

Rationalization #9. "See? I told you I couldn't do it."

Are you smart if you predict your own failure and it comes true? In most cases, when predictions come true, we say that it was smart to predict it. But in the case of failure, the opposite is likely to be true. Predicting failure is good way of guaranteeing it--and that's not smart at all.

Beliefs about failing (or succeeding) are members of that mysterious group called "self-fulfilling beliefs." When beliefs are self-fulfilling, often the importance of being right is at odds with the importance of living well. When we predict failure, we tend to appear "right," while doing something very wrong: cheating ourselves out of achievements in our lives. [For more, the biggest and best survey is Albert Bandura's Self-Efficacy.]

Rationalization #10. "I believe what I believe, and want what I want!"

If only it were so simple! In fact, many of our beliefs and desires seem to be formed in the moment we think about them, or have to act on them. When we are asked what toothpaste is best, or what movie to watch, or what Beatle's song is our favorite, we generally come up with our answer "in the moment."

That means that there is plenty of opportunity to those beliefs and desires to change in response to little situational influences, just before we think or act on them. While it may seem laudable to say "I believe what I believe, and I want what I want", it's also a misunderstanding of how many of our beliefs and desires actually arise. [For more, see Cialdini's Influence.]